Stories from the Kingdom of Klah
Magnus Magic-Hands wins people’s prize for coolest burglar in Klah
Change is a natural part of human life. Many people change their homes, their jobs, their interests, and sometimes their underwear. A few change into butterflies, or frogs, or wisened old people. Not many are able to change their body parts at will however – in fact Magnus P. Smithson is certainly the only person any of us at the Klah Gazette has heard of, and we even asked the delivery boy, who seems to know many characters both unsavoury and sweet, which are apparently different things.
Ever since he found himself adrift in the strange current of life, Magnus P. Smithson, also known as Magnus Magic-Hands, has always been both the easiest, and most difficult person to buy gloves for. This is not because he has fingers like fat little sausages or has no interest in glove fashion trends, but because he was born with the strange ability to be able to change his hands as one may change their hairstyle, if one were in a magical wig factory of infinite proportions.
Rock of the Clockwork Eagle
Journeyed up a very secluded river today to the famous Rock of the Clockwork Eagle, which every 13 seconds is landed on by a Clockwork Eagle, who screams, sometimes devours a fish, or regurgitates one, and then flies off, only to be followed by another exactly 13 seconds later - for what purpose nobody knows, although people often take their clocks there to be checked for accuracy. Unfortunately this video is only 11 seconds long and I missed the eagles.
Captain Lilith investigating Moonshine Pool today, where irrespective of the time of day or night or phase of the moon it is, you can look in and see the full moon in all its splendour. Visitors to the pool often bring cups on strings and lower them in for a strong mid-forest beverage, but be careful not to slip, for full immersion in the pool is said to turn a person into a pair of glass slippers, visible only in the moonlight, and therefore rated at High Risk of being accidentally broken.
Spongelrip Beach, a wild section of Klah's west coast at the best of times. It is also home to a strange and unique phenomena called the "spongelrip" - strong currents that drag unsuspecting swimmers down into underground caves where they are given vigorous underground sponge baths by severe sea sponges (Spongeus severis). The newly scrubbed swimmers are then tossed into an upwards current which pops them back to the surface, pink, gleaming and generally relieved to be alive. Unfortunately at this point, their pink, gleaming, succulent skin normally attracts carnivorous sabre tooth dolphins.
Boklidok Awareness Week
Sleeping Boklidok, Southeast Klah
This week is Boklidok Awareness Week, and follows two more disappearances on the coast of Yippertin, Southeast Klah. Do you know the warning signs of a Boklidok? Citizens, now is the time to get educated – it could save your life.