Stories from the Kingdom of Klah

Historic photograph of the Royal Master Artist posing with some of her mates in the Garden of Monoi (pronounced Mono-eye). The garden was originally created by a Mr Wanzalig Werginoch, a monocle salesman, in the hope of breeding some more customers - but unfortunately for him, it turned out the birds and beasts of this garden are all born with perfect vision. Not the best depth of field of course, so if you do go for a visit, be prepared for some comical animal collision - definitely a must visit if you’ve always wanted to butt heads with a snake, walk into a bird, or trip over a lizard.

Estuaries are magical places because they transform constantly, as the sea makes regular visits before dashing off to another party, and back again, rhythmically and reliably but also fashionably later than the day before.

One particular estuary in the Kingdom of Klah, the Oreh-wuto, has a few extra magic parts to it - there’s a little island stage in the middle of it that Herman the Merman often brings his circus to, where the crowds gather and eat extra salty popcorn. There’s a section of reeds home to a family of ducks who are said to be royalty because their feet are not webbed, but instead have long toes which they use to play the harp with moderate competence.

A citizen arriving in Klah through a portal once voted “Most Golden Portal to Klah”. It was stripped of this title when it was discovered that the Golden Volcano of South Klah is also a portal between the universes, if you manage to throw yourself into the crater in between the frequent eruptions (every eight minutes and six seconds exactly). The lava of the Golden Volcano is molten silver, and the area is now known for its many interesting sculptures depicting travellers with a poor sense of time management.
This portal (pictured), instead now boasts the prestigious title “Most Golden Portal to Klah that Won’t Turn You Into A Statue”.

Mystic Charles had a secret. It wasn’t that he could teleport, everybody knew that, for that was how he delivered the royal mail. It wasn’t even the fact that it was really his splendid knitted hat that gave him this ability, not the crystal staff as everyone presumed (though this was really a secret too, as frequent attempts were made by naughty people to steal the staff). No, the secret I am referring to is that as well as being an excellent burglar decoy, the crystal staff doubled as a tap dancing prop when Mystic Charles was in the privacy of his bedroom. Although Mystic Charles had been practicing for years and was surprisingly agile, no one had ever seen him dance – for unfortunately even though he had travelled the world a thousand times, he remained frightfully shy, and never whispered his passion to a soul. “Tomorrow”, he thought to himself every day. “I will have the courage tomorrow”. In his heart he longed to tap dance for the King & Queen, in the meantime he delivered their mail.

Mt Sackleview was once known as the only mountain you could see the ocean in all directions from. These days he is mainly known for being the only mountain in Klah history to have sent a formal letter to the local council complaining about back problems from the weight of all the tourists, and now only those riding small hovercraft are able to experience the view. There are rumours however, that Sackleview is currently penning another letter complaining now about the hovercraft noise, and that these too may soon be banned. Some are now referring to him as "Sacklewhinge", and we await his letter of complaint about this too